Spoiler Alert: the plot of the 2016 movie “Arrival” with Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner is revealed in this blog.
If you knew that your future contained both exquisite joy and pain, could you still step into it with an open heart and surrender to the whole experience? Or would you fight it, try to fix it, or try to strategically make choices to avoid the pain or reduce the pain (and lose the potential for joy?)
That is the question and counter question that I hear posed in every support group, from every client and in every moment of life. Whether it is uttered in words on paper, screamed in pain to the heavens or showered through the energy body and chakras, I hear others secret story of pain and pleasure. It is the human condition, to live knowing there is birth and death, pain and pleasure… we have only to trust the process. And I hear it because, I live it, too. I feel the bitter sweetness. Every day.
In support groups, I hear people say “Why?” and “Why couldn’t I just walk away?” But they felt compelled to stay, sometimes in “toxic” situations. From clients, I hear them struggle with the past, with hearts disappointed, so much so that they give up on the future. It’s as if they wish that they could send someone into the future to clean it all up… and then they will open their hearts and step into the future.
But Life doesn’t work that way, does it?
Recently, I watched the 2016 movie “Arrival.” It is the story of unconditional love painted across the back-drop arrival of Aliens (extra-terrestrials) to our planet. It is an elegant movie, soft and gentle storytelling. In fact, it is a lot like a lullaby or bedtime story.
The heart of the screenplay is the revelation that the main character, Louise, sees the future in some detail. It is overwhelming, almost maddening for Louise to possess the “Seers Gift.” We discover that she sees that she will give birth to a daughter, she will love and treasure her, they will have the mother daughter experience, of love and hate and everything in between. But Louise’s daughter will die of an illness in her teen years. The baby that she cradles saying “come back to me” in joy, she will later cradle as a teenager in a hospital bed repeating “come back to me” in despair. And she “Sees” all of it in advance, and has the baby, the marriage, the Life anyway. That simply must be the definition, the embodiment, of Love and Trust and Faith.
So… if you knew that someone you loved would one day die in your arms, would you have the capacity to be joyful everyday on the way to the inevitable? Could you have that well-spring of unconditional love? It is a BIG question.
Many of my friends and clients who share the experience of Family Alienation (abuse, neglect or trauma) express this confusion and the compelling draw. As much as they are angry and feel abandoned by family or by God, they use also the words “holy relationship” or “honor” or “service.” They felt compelled to be there and hold a space for family members, or co-workers or spouses and partners. At least for a time period. Not an unhealthy choice, not the “trauma pull,” which feels addictive, harsh and self-punishing. Not the “fixing.” But, instead a gentle grounding, the whisper from an inner voice. From the place of love and service. The profound sense that something bigger was taking place. (Like the Biblical story of Joseph, whose brothers sold him into slavery and in humbleness served the Pharoah of Egypt.) And that their presence, even if it was painful, was in service not just to themselves as “soul paths,” not just the family system, not just the work system, but for the benefit of humanity itself. Sincere. Humble. Quiet.
I hear this sincere and humble awareness in spiritual groups, in healing circles and in personal development classes. This awareness articulated in marketing meeting and leadership meetings. I hear this discussed in political settings, in sports and in the media. In my experience in rock bands, Girl Scouts and sororities. Sometimes they are spoken in awareness, sometimes they are secrets I hear. But I am not the only one who hears, just as Louise is not the only one who sees. There are those who hear, those how see. And we are all beginning to know.
After all these years, I conclude that most, maybe all, of those in Family Alienation are “called” in some way. (Bestselling Author Caroline Myss talks about something like this in the “Sacred Contracts.” Many thought leaders refer to this concept, too.) When I hear the stories of my clients emerging from abuse, neglect or trauma, I see them in metaphor as hunks of coal, put under immense pressure, emerging as precious diamonds. But you can only truly sparkle when you see the light of day. When you show yourself in the world. When you allow life, with all of its color, pain and pleasure to flow through your many facets.
In recent years, I see that more of these diamond people, these precious ones, are drawn together, knowing one another by the sparkle. They are drawn together to share their light, to reflect their precious gifts to one another. I believe that “Healing Happens in Partnerships” … where I see the Essential you and you see the Essential me. I sense that is it The Time to leave this piece of story of Family pain behind. You did your part in your experience of Family Alienation, neglect, abuse or trauma. Now, let’s close turn the page and begin a new Chapter. Surrender the fighting, the fixing, the strategy. Begin by to stepping into the future with open hearts, clear energy fields and embrace of all the future holds.
If you knew that your future contained both exquisite joy and pain, could you still step into it with an open heart and surrender to the whole experience?
If this blog and the persistent question drives you crazy, or thrills you, great! Come join me for an EFT Tapping session on Skype or Zoom. Don’t spend another second in the dark, Shadow Boxing and hiding your light or punishing yourself. Take the Empowered Essential You out of the Closet. Meet your sparkling peers and partners.
Healing happens in partnerships. You’ll grow so much more in a one-on-one, than trying to “go it alone.”
Why Tapping? Tapping relaxes the body and triggers healthy body chemistry changes in the way acupuncture does. This weird looking process called EFT Tapping is actually very effective, with over 100 double-blind clinical studies validating the results. While you can do a lot with EFT Tapping as self-help, the real sparkle is in private one-on-ones, since humans are wired to work in healing partnerships. What the one-on-one private Tapping does is give you a confidential, safe setting to unburden yourself, to hear yourself talk through your stuff. When you sign up for private sessions, the benefits, the potential is astonishing. It is the ultimate gift of Self-Care.
Why Work with Me? I know a little about hiding my sparkle and then coming out shining again. I only recently Came Out of the Closet Myself. Many of you know my story. Some of you do not. Four years ago I faced a family disaster that severely stressed my mental, emotional and financial life. And then … EFT found me. And helped me come out into the Light of Day.
The secret is surrendering … surrendering to love. Self-care.
I can already hear and see the Empowered Essential You!
To Love and to Serve,
SusanJoy
SusanJoy Grieco
