This morning, I awoke up feeling a freedom and lightness of spirit that I have never known before. And I know why! So I gave myself extra hugs and sent blessings to all the friends who have walked beside me on this journey.
You see, I hosted my own “coming out” party this past weekend, a real celebration. I “came out” of my cage, my closet, my invisible prison …
and I am here to “represent” that Domestic Abuse is NOT a life-time sentence.
Domestic Abuse, Family Violence, Emotional Injury, Child Abuse, Narcissistic Abuse… we have so many names for it, words for it. But no matter if you or your loved one’s abuse began in infancy,
In teen years,
At college,
or as a dating/married adult …
I’d like to give you the gift of peace of mind, by dispelling some myths around this subject…
you are not “scarred for life.” You are not borken. Period. Nope.
This is NOT a life-time sentence. You can see the door to your prison and walk out.
Now, that idea is pretty scary to victims of abuse. Because they are brainwashed, conditioned into believing that they will suffer,
suffer,
suffer the consequences if they attempt to free themselves, to live their lives…
And isn’t that they way of every “abuser or bully?” They slowly whittle away at the self-esteem of “the target” by controlling thoughts and communication, by twisting perception, (we call it gas lighting) and then by teaching self-censoring with negative reinforcement.
A voice “inside” the victim, planted by the abuser, hisses, threatens and warns, “If you walk out, you will feel my/our retaliation
and if you make it out those doors, the world, society will shun you, reject you! You are nothing, nobody.
Shame, shame, shame.”
Shame, Shame, Shame.
Bull shit. This is not a life-time sentence. You can find freedom. And that freedom, depends on you FEEL. Your life experience … depends on how you feel.
Words are an “entry point” to stir things up, to awaken the soul, to set the stage for removing the shrouded veil… to glimpse the cage you stand in… the one with the open door. To imagine the possibility of walking through that open door trusting that the world is safe enough, that people are welcoming, and that The Air is fresh, clean and life-giving… You see, words alone are not enough. Words are not enough, but they ARE a beginning point.
At first, you only get glimpses. And then retreat from the dream. I know, it’s surreal and scary, because I have been there. It’s a process, one step forward, two steps back, but eventually you get a whiff of freedom and you want more. You were born for MORE.
What made a difference for me what realizing… I could choose how I felt.
Because it’s a game of emotions, not at all the mental game we are taught it is.
Freedom is Found in Feelings. Try it yourself. Make a list of people, place, things that you like and love. Why do you like them? Why do you adore them? And notice how you feel. Now do that same thing every day for 30 days, finding nuances of why you like/love … and feel your emotions shift. How your view of the world changes, see for yourself.
And when it comes to Emotional Injury… I really loved what EFT Tapping did for me. Amazing.
What a journey. I have a lot of people to thank. Supporters who saw me. Who became my friends. Who listened to me and walked beside me, honoring my process, my dignity. You know who you are. And I will always love you and sing your praises for the gift of your healing friendship and mentoring.
In the last few days, YOU showed up for the party. Those supporters and new people up for the party…
a trickle became a flood of PM messages, phone calls, text messaging with words like these:
“Congratulations!
Good for you, help yourself and help others.
I love that ur doing this, helping others.
I am so proud of you.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
You inspire …
You are amazing, awesome …”
And I used to believe the abusers/bullies, those frightening words. Like I said, words are a beginning. Imagine that, all of my life I was told “if you speak up, you’ll be punished. No one will hear you. No one will believe you.”
And yet, here I am being WELCOMED by you and others for my WORDS, words of truth and freedom.
Wow, I FEEL GOOD.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know
Do you know what I mean?
Looking forward to seeing the
Empowered Essential You
SusanJoy
SusanJoy Grieco
